Now for the dreaded about me ... when it's really about you!
Should I start by listing a few things about me that are ambiguous enough that I could be a decent match with 95% of you. In order to maximize my responses I will start by exaggerating my strengths and failing to mention any weaknesses. In hopes this shall generate enough replies so that I can be mildly entertained while I work and continuing my quest for whatever the ???? it is, I’m looking for?
After my own personal enjoyment of your clever attempts to gather information about me; I will consider my options, stare at your picture, and divide you into three groups. Potential partners, potential serial killers, and potential trouble, then I will begin my own calculated responses, bending truths and possibly lying to make myself more attractive to you.
If you've made it this far there is a good chance I am interested in meeting you. We will exchange emails for a couple of days and then...
1) You will suddenly disappear off the planet. My ego will be crushed, my fear of rejection will once again surface, and I will go into a state of moderate depression until I get the nerve to post another POF ad.
2) We meet! Except you are nothing of what your picture looks like. Don't you know that the ability to manufacture lies about personal appearance or personality is reserved only for the original poster? Which would be ... ME!
3) We meet! You look good and you have a great personality! Except I forgot that I exaggerated everything about me, and after a few awkward hours of hanging out I will never hear from you again.
4) We meet! It is lust at first sight and for the next two weeks we are learning so much about each other. Then, I find out your ex-husband still lives with you as well as your last boyfriend. You have 5 gifted but legally insane children that are your world. You illegally raise pit bulls for a living and hate the cops you are constantly calling to sort out your chaos. We, inexorably drift apart.
Unfortunately for me, all of these scenarios end up personal recriminations. Yet still I post, hoping that one day I can discover the elusive 5th scenario, the one I was searching for the entire time.
Oh right, I'm apparently, trying to be funny and obviously, extremely sarcastic. Similar to most?
I like a great wine, hiking, good friends, movies as well as listening to music. I also walk around, I breathe, I am alive looking for the meaning of life and I go out and do something crazy every now and then, just to be different.
Some might say I am a raconteur, with a bit of an edge, which comes from having been a military brat, I think. Or at least that's what my former therapist once said. ...
If you've taken the time to read this far and recognized the sarcasm for what it truly is there might be a good chance we could be friends ... I do have a serious side but prefer not to say much other than ... I'm a spiritualist ... I think out of the box and I have been lucky to have worked with some wonderful humanitarian groups and people who's sole purpose in this life is to help others ...
beautiful grace
quiet elegance
comes from
knowing who we are
NO EXPECTATIONS
70 - Straight
Utah, United States
Apr 28, 2016 19:47
Now for the dreaded about me ... when it's really about you!
Should I start by listing a few things about me that are ambiguous enough that I could be a decent match with 95% of you. In order to maximize my responses I will start by exaggerating my strengths and failing to mention any weaknesses. In hopes this shall generate enough replies so that I can be mildly entertained while I work and continuing my quest for whatever the ???? it is, I’m looking for?
After my own personal enjoyment of your clever attempts to gather information about me; I will consider my options, stare at your picture, and divide you into three groups. Potential partners, potential serial killers, and potential trouble, then I will begin my own calculated responses, bending truths and possibly lying to make myself more attractive to you.
If you've made it this far there is a good chance I am interested in meeting you. We will exchange emails for a couple of days and then...
1) You will suddenly disappear off the planet. My ego will be crushed, my fear of rejection will once again surface, and I will go into a state of moderate depression until I get the nerve to post another POF ad.
2) We meet! Except you are nothing of what your picture looks like. Don't you know that the ability to manufacture lies about personal appearance or personality is reserved only for the original poster? Which would be ... ME!
3) We meet! You look good and you have a great personality! Except I forgot that I exaggerated everything about me, and after a few awkward hours of hanging out I will never hear from you again.
4) We meet! It is lust at first sight and for the next two weeks we are learning so much about each other. Then, I find out your ex-husband still lives with you as well as your last boyfriend. You have 5 gifted but legally insane children that are your world. You illegally raise pit bulls for a living and hate the cops you are constantly calling to sort out your chaos. We, inexorably drift apart.
Unfortunately for me, all of these scenarios end up personal recriminations. Yet still I post, hoping that one day I can discover the elusive 5th scenario, the one I was searching for the entire time.
Oh right, I'm apparently, trying to be funny and obviously, extremely sarcastic. Similar to most?
I like a great wine, hiking, good friends, movies as well as listening to music. I also walk around, I breathe, I am alive looking for the meaning of life and I go out and do something crazy every now and then, just to be different.
Some might say I am a raconteur, with a bit of an edge, which comes from having been a military brat, I think. Or at least that's what my former therapist once said. ...
If you've taken the time to read this far and recognized the sarcasm for what it truly is there might be a good chance we could be friends ... I do have a serious side but prefer not to say much other than ... I'm a spiritualist ... I think out of the box and I have been lucky to have worked with some wonderful humanitarian groups and people who's sole purpose in this life is to help others ...
beautiful grace
quiet elegance
comes from
knowing who we are
Should I start by listing a few things about me that are ambiguous enough that I could be a decent match with 95% of you. In order to maximize my responses I will start by exaggerating my strengths and failing to mention any weaknesses. In hopes this shall generate enough replies so that I can be mildly entertained while I work and continuing my quest for whatever the ???? it is, I’m looking for?
After my own personal enjoyment of your clever attempts to gather information about me; I will consider my options, stare at your picture, and divide you into three groups. Potential partners, potential serial killers, and potential trouble, then I will begin my own calculated responses, bending truths and possibly lying to make myself more attractive to you.
If you've made it this far there is a good chance I am interested in meeting you. We will exchange emails for a couple of days and then...
1) You will suddenly disappear off the planet. My ego will be crushed, my fear of rejection will once again surface, and I will go into a state of moderate depression until I get the nerve to post another POF ad.
2) We meet! Except you are nothing of what your picture looks like. Don't you know that the ability to manufacture lies about personal appearance or personality is reserved only for the original poster? Which would be ... ME!
3) We meet! You look good and you have a great personality! Except I forgot that I exaggerated everything about me, and after a few awkward hours of hanging out I will never hear from you again.
4) We meet! It is lust at first sight and for the next two weeks we are learning so much about each other. Then, I find out your ex-husband still lives with you as well as your last boyfriend. You have 5 gifted but legally insane children that are your world. You illegally raise pit bulls for a living and hate the cops you are constantly calling to sort out your chaos. We, inexorably drift apart.
Unfortunately for me, all of these scenarios end up personal recriminations. Yet still I post, hoping that one day I can discover the elusive 5th scenario, the one I was searching for the entire time.
Oh right, I'm apparently, trying to be funny and obviously, extremely sarcastic. Similar to most?
I like a great wine, hiking, good friends, movies as well as listening to music. I also walk around, I breathe, I am alive looking for the meaning of life and I go out and do something crazy every now and then, just to be different.
Some might say I am a raconteur, with a bit of an edge, which comes from having been a military brat, I think. Or at least that's what my former therapist once said. ...
If you've taken the time to read this far and recognized the sarcasm for what it truly is there might be a good chance we could be friends ... I do have a serious side but prefer not to say much other than ... I'm a spiritualist ... I think out of the box and I have been lucky to have worked with some wonderful humanitarian groups and people who's sole purpose in this life is to help others ...
beautiful grace
quiet elegance
comes from
knowing who we are
